Nine years. That’s 3,285 days, five IVF cycles, many adoption orientations, hours of research, and years of agonizing over the best way to achieve our end goal...a family. Five of those years have been spent trying to give our son a sibling, have another child to complete our family. Over the years we have felt every emotion, cried endless tears, fought our hearts out, and still we persevere. It has been overwhelming, exhausting, inspiring, but it all comes from one place. Love. This has all come from a place of love and a determination to persevere, no matter what. Our desire to grow our family is so strong we refuse to let anything or anyone stop us. Finally, we are at a point where we feel closer than ever to achieving our dream, and we want to share our story with the world!
Why? After everything we’ve been through, I feel passionate about helping other couples who are going through similar hardships to achieve their dream of having a family. If you feel a burning desire in your heart for children but feel like it can never happen for you, you’re wrong. If we can do it, anyone can. It’s about using that burning desire to take action, and with every step you take you can feel it coming closer. Your hunger for it increases as you see it coming into view. Suddenly there is hope! It is then that you know that you’re on the right path and doing the right things. It’s an amazing feeling to find a way, seemingly against all odds, to make your dreams a reality. Amazing!!
If you are reading this blog, I’m guessing you know our story by now. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read our story. In my last blog, I wrote about our decision to move forward with Angel Adoption, and I am so glad we did. We now have a published profile available on the Angel Adoption website as well as other sites that Angel uses to market adoptive parents. Two weeks ago we had our home study approved. That was a daunting process to say the least, but less so in bite-sized chunks, a little at a time, instead of all at once. Once our home study was approved, Angel Adoption was able to show our profile to all birth moms. Our home study was completed on a Sunday and just four days later, on Thursday, they called to let us know there was a birth mother who wanted to speak with us. To say the least, we were overjoyed! Again, so many emotions came flooding in. From hope, joy, and excitement to being anxious and nervous about taking the first step, a phone conversation with the birth mom. That night we texted a little with the birth mom and spoke with her for the first time the very next day. This conversation and the ones that have followed have been the hardest and most exciting of my life. This person is making the hardest decision of her life, and she is choosing us as potential parents for her unborn child. The severity of that is not lost on us. We have so much respect for her. How hard it must be to make that decision. What strength she has and how much she must love that child! We want so badly for her to like us, for a connection to be made here. We want her to know that we respect her for her strength, for she realizes that she may not be able to give her child the best life possible. Angel Adoption, as well as the home study company, have given us so much advice on what to say and not say. We have so many questions but the last thing we want is to say something that might upset her or make her change her mind about us. It feels like we’re walking on eggshells some of the time, and we are praying that we say the right things.
The first conversation went well overall. Both sides agreed that the other could ask any questions and reach out anytime. Since then, we have been texting with this birth mom almost every day and our relationship is slowly growing and becoming stronger. This relationship is being formed on a foundation of love for this child who we have yet to meet. We are trying to be cautiously optimistic but it’s hard, we want this to work out so badly, so deeply, with every fiber of our being. This will be an open adoption so this mom will become a part of our extended family and we are thrilled.
The day after our first conversation with the birth mom we hosted a HUGE garage sale fundraiser and it was a huge success! We raised about $3,000 for our adoption fund. We are so grateful to everyone who participated in any way and especially those who donated items for us to sell. This adoption is taking a village to pull off. Thank God, our village is amazing! I intend to write another blog detailing how we pulled off a successful garage sale sometime soon. Hopefully it will help someone else who is trying to fund infertility treatments and/or adoption. Our next fundraiser is in the works, a week long vacation in Jamaica! It’s going to be huge! Everything's coming together now and falling into place. This is going to happen! We’re making it happen, and it feels so good!!
So, while this part of being connected with a birth mom has happened so quickly, our journey to complete our family has been a nine year battle. We are so grateful to have gotten to this point and have this opportunity. We can see the end in sight and it feels amazing!! Nothing is more worth the hardships we have faced to get here, the fight, than family. With hope, desire and perseverance, anything is possible! Never give up on your dreams, there is a way!!