Life does not get better by chance. It gets better with change… but change isn’t easy. You fight to hold on, and you fight to let go. It’s a constant battle, and though we haven’t been blogging for awhile, It’s not because we have given up. We will never give up on this dream. But, it’s easy to get discouraged. It’s easy to be weakened by obstacles. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by the mountain ahead of you. It’s easy to agonize over every detail and decision. Agonizing has gotten us nowhere. While we’ve been stuck in this mud and muck, spinning our wheels fruitlessly, life is passing us by. Hudson is getting older, and judging by the gray hairs that are invading my scalp, so am I. The time has come. It’s now or never.
Perhaps we’ve also been waiting for the perfect time financially to begin the process. Waiting for our finances to get better. Waiting until we are able to buy a home of our own. But, you know what? There is never going to be a perfect time, financially or otherwise. If we constantly waited for the perfect time to do things, guess what? We’d never do them! Because there is no perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist. Things are what we make them. So, the best way to succeed here is to close our eyes, take a leap, and make it happen. Make that change.
One of the obstacles in our path was dealing with my endometriosis and trying to accept the fact that, as much as I’d like to be pregnant again and give birth to our child, it’s not the best thing for me or my family. This has been a hard pill to swallow, and a battle raged between my maternal desire to procreate and the fact that my body just isn’t good at being pregnant. In a perfect world, we could add to our family for free the way everyone else does. But it’s not a perfect world. Now with my endometriosis diagnosis and my age, it makes the chances of a successful pregnancy slim.
This brings me to our decision. Because the time is now to make a change. We are so excited to have decided to move forward with adoption with a company called Angel Adoption. Believe me, we have done our homework here. Over the years we have attended several adoption orientations for both private agencies and social services. We believe there is a child out there that is meant to be a part of our family, and Angel Adoption is the best way to make that connection. Angel Adoption has a 94% success rate and is statistically found to be more than $20,000 below the cost of other adoption programs. They are one of the most affordable programs in the nation. They’re different than other private agencies in that they provide aggressive nationwide advertising, marketing, and national outreach programs for potential birthmothers that result in shorter wait times. They create an adoption profile for us with layout, printing, and distribution all included. They do not accept everyone who applies. We had to go through an interview process with them and be accepted into their program. In my many emails to them with questions and concerns, they are always quick to respond and take the time to answer each question thoroughly. I have called with questions as well, and even people who I have never spoken with know who we are, our story, our hopes, our financial needs, etc.. It means a lot to call and have complete strangers know who we are. I was blown away by this. It makes their service feel so personal, like they really care about every family they work with. We feel like this is the best decision for us and our family to bring about the change we want.
Now, there’s the financial aspect of this. If you or anyone you know has gone through the adoption process you know that it’s not cheap. Even with Angel Adoption being more affordable, the total costs, before the adoption tax credit and deduction, are overwhelming to say the least. So, how are we ever going to pay for it?! We have several ideas. Perhaps these ideas can help others looking to adopt as well.
Grants: Once we are contracted with Angel Adoptions, we can start applying for grants. There are about eighty available grants to help with adoption. They all have different stipulations so won’t all fit our situation, but we are going through them and will apply for all that we can. There’s a great website called Fund Your Adoption that will provide you a lot of great resources to help with this.
The Adoption Tax Credit and Deduction: About $13,000-$14,000 but the timing of this is somewhat depending on when our adoption is finalized.
No Interest Adoption Loans
We are hopeful that a combination of all of these things will help us financially. While figuring out the financial aspect, we’ll also be working on our home study, and getting the forms filled out as well as photos ready to submit for our profile. So much to do and think about to prepare before this adoption can happen. All the hard work and preparation will be so worth it once we hold that baby in our arms.
It’s worth it. That’s what we constantly try to remind ourselves. The pain of miscarriages and failed pregnancy tests are worth it. The doctor’s appointments, the shots, the medications, the waiting are all worth it. The thousands of dollars spent. The heartache and the tears. The agonizing over the right paths to take and the overwhelming hills to climb. It may not feel like it when you’re in the thick of it. But when we reach the end of our battle, the summit, we know it will all be worth it.