Trust. Believe. Have Faith. Love. These are the things that will get us through.
In our last blog, we wrote about meeting a family who was willing to donate their frozen embryos to us. What. A. Gift. Right? We felt so grateful and filled with hope. I quickly called and made an appointment for a “re-consultation” with our fertility doctor, and we moved forward. Matt and I met with her and had a plan in place. We would proceed with a Frozen Embryo Transfer using the donated embryos. This was on a Tuesday. I was scheduled for a hysterosonogram and echo exam of my uterus on Thursday to make sure my body could successfully go through another IVF cycle. Now having had a career in infertility, I’ve been through this before. I’m a straight-up pro! I knew the drill, knew what to expect, and walked into my doctor’s office thinking that all would be fine. The doctor made some discoveries that I did not expect. She discovered several endometrioma cysts in both my ovaries. There are several on the right and one on the left. “No wonder I’ve had so much pain on my right side for so long,” I thought, as she explained that she hoped these would shrink during pregnancy. These cysts could explain part of our infertility problems as well. Finally an answer! I’ve even gone through a couple of colonoscopies as well as at least one CT Scan trying to figure out what was causing my right side abdominal pain. Now I know that I have endometriosis. Trust. Believe. Have Faith. Love. These are the things that will get us through.
As she continued with the appointment, she asked me who did my c-section. She explained that, basically, they screwed up. The muscle lining where they sewed my c-section up is paper thin. Not only that, but it is virtually non-existent on one end which could cause me to have a uterine rupture should I try to give birth naturally. “Say what now?” I was thinking, as she explained that we couldn’t allow me to deliver naturally. I didn’t even know this issue was a possibility. This led me to explain to her that I was diagnosed with an irritable uterus with Hudson and started having contractions at 20 weeks at which time I was put on strict bedrest for the remainder of my pregnancy. Towards the end, I was literally having hundreds of contractions a day...hundreds of contractions. Her response to this was a short but firm, “We can’t let that happen again.” Magnesium supplements to keep my uterus calm was her suggestion. Trust. Believe. Have Faith. Love. These are the things that will get us through.
There were a few other issues that came up that we won’t go into now, but let’s just say that this appointment has caused some soul-searching and several lengthy conversations during the Thanksgiving holiday week. Basically, it feels like having another pregnancy would be risky. My pregnancy with Hudson was so hard, but this would be even harder. Although this would not have been our child biologically, I wanted so badly to be able to carry the baby in my womb. It would have been the wonder of pregnancy as well as the blessing of adoption. Perhaps it’s time to accept that another pregnancy is not the way in which we are meant to add to our family. This was undoubtedly a blow at first, another battle lost, but we are determined to win the war. We will not let this stop us. It simply calls for a change of plans. Trust. Believe. Have Faith. Love. These are the things that will get us through.
Infertility treatments and pregnancy are now off the table. What takes its place is just as beautiful. ADOPTION. This just means that we are getting answers and that we are one step closer to adding another child to our family. We trust, believe, and have faith that this is the path for us now. We can feel it, and it feels wonderful to finally know, without a doubt, that this is right for us. Sometimes life calls for flexibility, and when one door closes, another one opens. We know, without a doubt, that there’s a child out there that is meant to be a part of our family, and he/she is worth the fight. Trust. Believe. Have Faith. Love. These are the things that will get us through.
We are calling out to people near and far and humbly asking for your help. Please, please help us spread the word. Share this blog on your FB feed, Instagram, etc. If you know of anyone who has an unplanned pregnancy who would like to find a loving family for their unborn child, please pass this and our website onto them. Visit our Go Fund Me page at https://www.gofundme.com/a-sibling-for-hudson. These are all wonderful ways you can help support us. We continue our journey to make our dream come true. Trust. Believe. Have Faith. Love. These are the things that will get us through, these are the things that will help make our dream come true.